Monday, May 24, 2010
Friday, May 21, 2010
Rand Paul got into trouble by stating that he opposes parts of the Civil Rights Act of 1964 which mandates private business owners serve all perspective customers/clients/patients regardless of race. Paul makes it clear that he abhors racism, but finds that freedom is more important than upholding the Ninth Amendment. That’s all well and good if this was just about some segregationist huckster who was just selling overpriced sody-pop out of a cooler in the parking lot at a high school football game. I can get my sody-pop anywhere else.
But this is not about scalped cola. I may be driving through
And that does not even represent the worst possible situation. If in
But wait. It gets even worse! Add to this the Libertarian fantasy of a privatized everything. Libertarians would privatize air if they could. So in Rand Paul’s Libertarian Paradise everything people needed would be sold through private business which has the right to refuse to engage in transactions with people based on the color of their skin. So Joe Klansman (not a Jew) owns the nearest five bridges across the
People like Paul are stuck on the notion of Freedom without considering any sort of common sense or sense of moderation. There is no fucking such thing as complete freedom. Agreeing to live in a civil society requires giving up some freedoms in the name of order and functionality. People in a civilization can’t just do whatever they want. Yes, we need to support individual freedom WITHIN REASON. If you don’t believe that, try telling your hot, but bitchy co-worker she has a juicy ass in front of witnesses and you will find out your Freedom of Speech is not worth shit. But maybe Rand Paul thinks that bans on sexual harassment are infringements on Freedom too.
And maybe Paul supports the freedom of BP to cut corners by omitting emergency shut-off measures in offshore oil wells or the freedom of all corporations from regulation and law. He might as well. Just let the inmates run the asylum because there is no one in charge in Rand Paul’s world. Maybe that’s why so many people like him are so pro-gun; They are so shifty and anti-social that inevitably they will have to defend themselves with a violent barrage of gunfire.
On one level I agree with Paul. Government should not have to tell people the right thing to do. Where I differ with him is when people refuse to do the right thing and the effects of that negligence begins to have deleterious effects on what our government is supposed to protect – THE PEOPLE! In that case, the government damn well better step in. I have said this before, and I will repeat that the Constitution is not a formulary of possible laws. It DOES provide the framework for the creation of law. If Rand Paul was around during the Washington Administration he and his nutty friends would be complaining about the government overstepping its bounds by establishing
It comes down to the interpretation of a more perfect
Monday, May 17, 2010
There has been yet another misunderstanding recently of the type where a Republican seeking office makes a homicidal quip that gets completely taken out of context. This time it was Republican congressional candidate Brad Goehring (really his name) who posted the following on his Facebook page: “If I could issue hunting permits, I would officially declare today opening day for liberals. The season would extend to November 2 and have no limits on how many taken as we desperately need to ‘thin’ the herd.”
A spokesperson for the campaign pointed out that Goerhing was speaking metaphorically in reference to the electoral process and not about gunning down political opponents. Oooooohhhhhh. Of course. That’s obvious. It’s like when a Republican says:
“Let’s get some guns and kill liberals” They are actually saying: “We need to take care of this out of control deficit”
When a Republican says: “Hell yeah, these are cop killer bullets. You in?” They’re actually saying: “We need to be putting an emphasis on our small businesses”
When a Republican says: “Don’t try to back out now, you pussy. I recorded your ass on the phone. You’re already in too deep, Mike.” They’re actually saying: “The federal government has no right to set education mandates.”
When a Republican says: “Shut the fuck up! Shut the fuck up! I need to figure this out! Okay. We need to go to your Mom’s.” They’re actually saying: “We need to continue offshore drilling to decrease our dependence on foreign oil.”
When a Republican says: “Randy, you gotta let me in. I’ve done something horrible. I think I killed some people. I think I might have killed Mike too.” They’re actually saying: “Wall Street should be controlled by the Free Market and not by Washington.”
When a Republican says: “Stay away from me, Randy! I’m not going to the gas chamber! This is going to make a mess. I’m so sorry.” They’re actually saying: “Health care is not a right”
A normal person may wonder why they don’t just say what they mean instead of couching their message in seeming antisocial and violent language. It’s just the conservative way. They actually don’t understand how other people find their usage suggestive of violence. “How” they ask “can anyone think the words ‘kill people’ actually mean ‘kill people’?” So the next time you hear Sarah Palin say “I want to shoot someone from Americorps in the face” just nod and say “That is right. Something does need to be done about illegal immigration.”
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Maybe it was the effects of man’s disregard for the planet that made Neil Armstrong such a space nut from the beginning. Maybe the real secret story about the first moon landing was how Buzz Aldrin had to drag Armstrong back onto the Eagle kicking in screaming for the return flight home. Maybe this oil leak is what has him gently frothing about our need to get back to the moon.
I feel you Neil. It’s not enough that the oil industry so crookedly jacks up the price of petroleum. Now they’re expanding into jacking up the price of seafood. Pretty soon you’ll only be able to get fish sticks in fancy restaurants.
But Neil, this is the perfect reason why we shouldn’t be jetting your old bones up to the moon at this juncture. We should probably use that money to patch this hole in the sea floor that is gushing carcinogenic goo into our precious saltwater first. I think that someone is supposed to be fixing it though I’m not sure if that is happening. May I suggest you cut a deal with Obama; tell him you’ll use your NASA know-how to go down to the rupture and patch her up. In return you get a one way launch to the celestial body of your choice.
I could be underthinking it, but if astronauts can fly around space 360 miles above sea level fixing complicated telescopes, we can train a meranaut to patch a hole one mile below sea level. A couple O-rings and a roll of space tape should do it.
That leaves the problem of the remaining oil slick, but I’ve got an equally simplistic solution that came to me in a moment of inspiration. The other day I wondered of the spill “WWJD” or “what would Jed Clampett do?” I think he’d figure out who that oil belonged to and if no one claimed it he would get a boat and an improvised vacuum cleaner then move to
Monday, May 10, 2010
Friday, May 7, 2010
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