The following text is from a document recently found, believed to be the second half of a speech given on the floor of the House of Representatives by Rep. Theodosius Kucinich of Ohio in 1814. Though only the last page of the draft was found, the re is no argument that the topic of his speech was healthcare reform. This discovery has boosted the argument that healthcare reform has been a national agenda as far back as the fledgling years of our Democracy.
You will notice that the language that was standard then is now seen as archaic.
Not recommended for eighth grade students or younger.
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You will notice that the language that was standard then is now seen as archaic.
Not recommended for eighth grade students or younger.
_______
...this specific transvestiture of funds for services performed!
The wife of Mr. Thomas Wayles, Mrs. Thomas Wayles nee Curtis was recommended a serial treatment of eye-pokings after falling ill with hysterical mendacity. As a customer of Worthington, Kerry and Company Securance Mr. Wayles’ wife collected a benefit for six out of thirty-nine prescribed appointments when Worthington, Kerry and Company decided that eye-poking was experimental. Mr. Wayles’ wife died following complications of eye infections brought on directly from the very hysterical mendacity whose treatment cost was the obligation of Worthing Kerry.
Mr. Otis Freeman must pay out of his own hand the cost of his bone softening prescribed by none other than Doctor Flavius Burgoyne, son of Doctor Averil Burgoyne, once the physician of highest renown in all the colonies. At the age of eight demiscore two Mr. Freeman stands painfully overerect due to having bones ten times harder than yours or mine. The cost of his treatment at three ha'penny per annus has led to a second symptom – financial seepage from his sack. He has been singlehandedly maimed by New Newcastle Indemnity and Assurance, a company whose profits last year were in excess of an unmindable five hundred dollars!
“Five hundred dollars” you may say. What comparison could possibly make a man know the tangible value of a fantastic five hundred dollars when the value of this palace of Democracy in which we stand was built at a staggering fee of seventy-five dollars and eighty-nine cents? Five hundred dollars. It is 10,000 times the cost of the Mayflower crossing. It is the approximate combined value of all the wealthiest kingdoms of Islamia. A stack of five hundred single bank notes from the ground upwards would reach to a height of just below my ankle! JUST BELOW MY ANKLE!
Now I ask you, how much money do these randy jacks need? These dastardly cads. These bêtes terribles. When will they stop? And how many more people need suffer? How many more need be condemned to debtor’s prison. How many more people need be laid by simple avoidable ailments such as sallowness, menses, or the number one succumbant in America, farrier’s lung?
Our destiny is clear that when the raiders prey upon the people of America it is a call upon the brotherhood of decency to line up, joined at bosom and buttock and take back that with which the unsavory privateers absconded. We will smoke them out of their coves and under a heavy gay pounding of mortar fire we will board their sloops and take back what is ours. My friends, line up with me now, join me, and we will suck off our enemies, one by one!
Thank-you Mr. Speaker
T.F.K. - 1814
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