A Surrogate of One (rated R for language)

Here’s a model of partisan debate between the gop and the dems from the 1980s to a time not too far ago: Democratic partisans would be winning on an issue. That is to say they would have the support of a majority of Americans behind them. Let’s say the winning issue was “kids should eat less sugar.” Of course kids should eat less sugar, but if control-obsessed conservatives went along with the issue, it would mean (to them) ceding a victory since it was a Democratic initiative in the first place. So instead of giving away an easy victory by agreeing with Democrats, the Party that Lincoln Would be Ashamed of would scuttle it all by accusing the Democrats of being “soft on vegetables.” Instead of sticking to their message, Democrats would go on the defensive and try to prove that they weren’t soft on vegetables resulting in an abandonment of an issue they could have won if they had just had enough backbone not to be scared off message. The Republicans would take a bunch of money from Big Sugar and use that to beat more Democrats.

Nothing like a little redux as Barack Obama runs for reelection without the help of any real surrogates. As Obama was getting some traction going after Mitt Romney for being a Bain Capital vulture, a coterie of  cowardly Democrats disavowed the Leader of the Party’s message. They were scared of being associated with what Obama was saying, and the worst part is that no one from the other side even had to do anything. Democrats, including a former two term president actually self-wedgied. They self-swirlied. They became a Republican’s wet dream: Democrats that are predisposed to scaring themselves off message. It’s not a big deal that those Dems revealed their own lack of fortitude, but to not have the back of the president who was on the winning side of a message was repulsive.

The likes of shithole mayor Corey Booker were scolding Obama’s Bain angle as if Booker was the teacher and Obama was a fifth grade scamp. WTF? And it seemed for a while as if Obama was scared away from using Mitt’s “business experience” against him, but no. Obama is like the Marvel character Blade, the half human, half vampire vampire fighter. It’s like Obama has enough Republican in him to successfully fight Republicans. The Bain strategy is out of the Republican playbook – take Romney’s strength and use it against him. The Bain ads are back up and playing in the strategic markets. Wherever there’s a white man who didn’t go to college, who is living close to the margins, but wouldn’t vote for a black guy in a million years, there’s a Bain ad. Wherever there’s a dude who worked for a company for years and then suddenly got fired when a private equity company liquidated his firm, there’s a Bain ad. Wherever people live in a place that looks like the “Silence of the Lambs” scene where Jodi Foster is investigating the disappearance of Fredrica Bimmel, there’s a Bain ad.

Romney’s only comeback to this attack is that “Obama wants to punish success,” but that line’s got no grip on anyone outside of the people carrying water for the 1%. When it comes to the contest of which candidate more people see as out of touch, Romney wins! He’s the one that don’t get it, with his patrician underbite and shit.

Someone was recently deriding Obama for the fact that he isn’t grooming any underlings to follow up after him. No wonder. Fewer people in Romney’s own party like him yet he seems to get more respect. At least there’s no one sabotaging his strategy. Obama is probably in the process of looking for someone to take under his wing. It’s just that the frisking procedure takes so friggin’ long. Before you take on an apprentice, you’d like to know that said apprentice won’t go on the Sunday morning shows and talk shit about you. It’s insulting, especially when you know what you are doing is right. You would think that the guy who killed Bin Laden could get some props from his own party. How many times has Corey Booker been elected president? Exactly.

I have no doubt at the amount of shouting and cursing going on at the Romney campaign HQ coming from Romney himself. Obama is bringing up just what Romney dared not thought anyone would have the balls to call attention to – his record. “Of all the nerve” must be what Romney is thinking as this strategy sinks in. For him it must be frustratingly effective. It does no good to think about how effective the message would be if high-profile Obama “supporters” pitched in. They have their motivations, which may include trying to stay in the good graces of the fat cats. Whatever their situation, we may have a Little Red Hen going on in the barnyard. The leader of the Democratic party has an idea, direction, and goal, but he can’t seem to get the rest of the farm animals to get on board. When Obama wins a second term, the shirkers and wusses will be filled with congratulations and hopes of selective senility. I’m sure Obama is a better man than me and when that time comes, he won’t tell them to go fuck themselves.