A Better Late Than Never Review of the Republican Convention

Curiously, two names that were barely mentioned at the Republican National Convention were George W. Bush and Mitt Romney. At least Romney received an invitation. Barack Obama was slandered about once a minute, but as they say, there’s no such thing as bad publicity.

The Republican party is a big tent as Republicans say when they act like they want to be more inclusive. It is a big tent that’s come along way. The sign outside must have said “5 blacks allowed.” Of course, one of those blacks had peanuts thrown on her by an attendee who commented “that’s how we treat animals.” No Republican has uttered a word about this, but if they did they would dutifully point out that the same exact thing happens at Democratic (sorry, Democrat) conventions, only there blacks actually throw the peanuts on whites.

It was a show-stopper when Oprah possessed the body of Ann Romney who came out to speak on behalf of her husband saying things like “I love youuuuuu womeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen!” and “Mitt wasn’t handed success. He built iiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!” The latter was a variation of this year’s “drill baby, drill” and we know how successful that slogan was. Ann was assigned the double duty of reaching out to women and humanizing Mitt. It was said by some that she should have concentrated on one or the other, but even then, the outcome of zero sum would have probably have been the same. It would have merely allowed her to spend more time doing a half-assed job at whichever. The stories she told of their courtship were pretty underwhelming.

Ann Romney was followed by Chris Christie who talks like he’s got a gun in your face. Okay, so your mother took three buses to get to work. Just don’t shoot me! The word is that people like his tone. They find it real. I find it real off-putting.

Christie and other Republican governors talked mainly about themselves. Guys like Ohio guv John Kasich boasted about how well his state was doing economically, which conflicted with the overall message that Obama effed up the economy. Everyone talked about how their family immigrated here with nothing but holes in their pockets and a dream in their heart so apparently they now have the moral high ground to decide that the wealthy deserve more breaks and the middle class should pay for it.

Paul Ryan did his most important bit for the campaign yet by delivering a speech some say consisted of lies. The truth is that Ryan was intentionally deceptive, leaving out important elements of his telling of events for the purpose of making Barack Obama the villain and Paul Ryan the hero. Oh the skilled orator he was, Ryan delivered his deceptions with the earnestness of a high schooler delivering a Model U.N. speech. Ryan's fact challenged summary of the past four years led the headlines the next day. That just led to more digging which has turned up that Ryan lied about his finish time in a marathon he ran over 20 years ago. Add this to Ryan's claims he never requested Stimulus funds in spite of the existence of signed letters in which he requests Stimulus funds and one can see the impulse of a few people to do a jig in Chicago. 

One of the things polls and pundits dictated Romney put on his convention laundry list was to convey he was made of heart and not hardware. Like Barack Obama and his accomplishments, Mitt Romney does not wear his good deeds on his sleeve. This precipitated an awkward parade of members from his community coming forward to attest to all the nice stuff Romney did for them. There’s no reason to doubt any of the testimony given, but neutral people are more convinced when they are shown and not told.

One key to winning the presidency is to be less fodder than the other guy for the late night funny folks. Mitt avoided flubbing for the most part, but it was Clint Eastwood who really sent things a-Twitter with his comedy routine.  Clint became a surrogate gaffer for the Romney campaign and while Mitt didn’t take the initial heat, he gaffed by association. In all truth, Eastwood did nothing wrong. In another venue it would have just been more funny and less jaw-dropping. Being that it happened at a political convention, judgment tends to be on the puritanical side. Maybe it was his stuttering. Maybe it was his suggestion that the president is profane. Maybe it was that it was prop comedy or that it was a comedy routine at all. Word is that the performance got the Palin vetting, which is to say they had a warm body and a good feeling that things would just work out until something otherwise happened.

The moments during and immediately after Eastwood were like a slow poisoning. Only those with their finger on the pulse were aware that something wasn’t right. As for the floor of convention, he brought down the house, but those were all people who hate Obama, for the most part. I know I found the whole thing surreal and the MSNBC panel had a WTF response. For better or worse it was the Twitter response that delivered the verdict that the Eastwood routine was a near mortal blow.

While the Eastwood appearance was in the process of becoming a controversy, the remaining hour of the convention passed with Marco Rubio introducing Mitt Romney, again by talking about himself and his family’s immigrant past and predictably likening Obama’s America with Castro’s Cuba.

Finally, it was Mitt’s turn. The biggest risk Romney took was walking through the crowd like the president does during a state of the union address, shaking hands on his way to the stage. The speech itself was risk-free and perfunctory signaling Romney’s strategy to let any victory come not from any boldness on Romney’s part, but from the perception of Obama’s failure – that and the oodles of super pac money that will assist his campaign.

And then it was over. The assessment was much like the assessments of everything else Mitt Romney has done in this race which was lukewarm at best. Poll trackers are chomping at the bit looking for Mitt’s bounce and thus far, all indications there is little if any. Some say to wait a little longer, but it fits with Mitt’s designation as a guy that doesn’t strike chords.  That’s cool for a guy that runs companies, but in electoral politics the rich guy that won’t let anyone see his taxes needs to show more than placeholder emotions. Romney did not do that. Now we begin the Democratic convention which will be capped off with speeches by working class hero Joe Biden and chord striker Barack Obama.  Though most people are locked in as to whom they are supporting in this election and it is a close race, more people like Barack Obama personally. More people will be inclined to watch his speech and that event is not likely to be overshadowed by an iconic coot with an empty chair.