Having a little fun at Ferguson, MO's expense before the entire city is fired


With the Justice Department report on Ferguson, MO made public, we now know for a fact that the Ferguson Police Department was tasked with being the city's petty mobsters, raising revenue by routinely violating the constitutional rights of city's black citizens. The report found that officers engaged in competitions of who could rack up as many violations as possible. Here is this writer's rendering of the possible false infractions thousands of Ferguson residents may have been cited for over the past 20 years, and the exorbitant fines.


Possession of litter - $90
Not looking an officer in the eye - $132
Driver not in possession of car’s original floor mats - $109
Road rudeness - $250
Looking an officer in the eye - $132
Domestic vagrancy - $167
Conspiracy to loiter - $165
Accomplice to assembly - $454
Miscellaneous - $83
Unnecessary speaking volume - $45
Expired Costco membership card - $26
No proof of health insurance - $321
Improper bicycle saddle height - $214
Reckless walking - $85
Texting while shirtless - $110
Improper glove box illumination - $156
Unfettered hurly burly in the presence of minors - $245
Attempted tailgating - $182
Loose gum trafficking - $320
First degree nuisancy - $231
Aiding and abetting back talk - $143
Meandering in public - $322
Unsafe pocketbook - $145
Unregistered stroller - $214
Excessive use of turn signal – $122
Lagging while crossing - $182 
Rolling eyes while being written a bogus citation - $240

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