With only five days left to the census deadline the Census Bureau has already begun compiling data on the forms that have been returned. What information does the government now know about its citizens? Oh, ACORN-hating imp muckraker James O'Keefe, where are you when America needs you most? That's right. You are laying low after pleading guilty for entering a U.S. senator's office in order to wiretap her phones. Well, relax friend. AOTL has your back. We've broken into the Census Bureau offices and have liberated the information upon which some people will be moved onto FEMA reservations and given AIDS blankets. Below is the most chilling of that data.- .03% of people in America live in Rhode Island
- 36% colored in the entire answer block instead of using a check or "x"
- Bunny Holcombe of Annapolis, MD thinks that four of her cats count as "additional people"
- 45% have used their census forms as coasters
- There are currently 68,376 people living in the United States. 99% are Asian, 1% are Other
- 53% of people use black ink
-19,200 trees went into printing the 80 million yet unreturned census forms
- 5% of people returned their forms along with their tax returns
- 14% of people wrote comments on their forms. Of those comments:
- 50% were snide remarks
- 19% were complaints that the print on the census form is too damn small
- 18% asked what all the fuss was about
- 5% were shopping lists
-2% asked when they get their money
- .0000083 was Bunny Holcombe of Annapolis, MD explaining that she is so upset that Puddin' is being such a shit today she is not going to count him as a person
-1% stated "Zeppelin Rule! [sic]"
Scary, huh? Now who's crazy? Certainly not Congresswoman Michelle Bachman who warned us that our government was out to get us. Here is the proof that vindicates her and gives new credibility to her campaign to disobey traffic signals. You are a true patriot Michelle. You too James O'Keefe. May you both continue to create positive connotations for the word "fringe".
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