The Tex Book Case

There’s a new assassin in Texas school book depositories. The latest victim? Education. The Texas Board of Education has decided to inject the textbooks for their public schools with things that make hardcore conservatives feel warm and tingly. Thomas Jefferson, for example has been de-emphasized while evidence will be presented on how Joe McCarthy was vindicated. Here is a list of other revisions and additions the Board has ordered for the curriculum.

- MUSLIM U.S. PRESIDENTS WHO WERE BORN IN KENYA

Combines history, religion, geography, diversity, and the the Constitution in one unit!

- HURRICANE KATRINA

Teaches lesser known facts about Hurricane Katrina such as the destruction of Trent Lott's second home and the Tara Oaks Country Club.

- TOURISM IN THE U.S.

Focuses on what countries' people visit the U.S. most frequently, and apply for jobs without proper documentation.

- MARTIN LUTHER KING

Discusses the Nobel Peace Prize committee's choice of a Negro preacher with a criminal record who nearly crippled bus service in a peaceful community and constantly tied up traffic throughout the South.

- WOMEN'S RIGHTS

Outlines the law as it pertains to women as written in Leviticus.

- THE WHISKEY REBELLION

Discusses the resistance of U.S. patriots to George Washington's big government socialistic tax hikes.

- DISCRIMINATION

Emphasizes the post-slavery struggle of white men in America from 1865 through the Civil Rights Setback to the present.

- RELIGIOUS INFLUENCES IN THE U.S.

Points out where the word "God" appears in historical documents, oaths, and on money.

- AMERICA FROM 2001-2009

Reflects on the period when America was most awesome and studies the policies that made it that way.