World Cheese and Beer Prices Surge on Wisconsin Uncertainty

By Rashida Reinshickle - AOTL Wire Service
French Minister of Cheese and Beer Mathieu Anisette

Amid the political standoff in Wisconsin, the prices of cheese and beer around the world have risen steadily. Experts predict by the end of the week the price of beer could reach as high as $100 per barrel.

Wisconsin is a large enough producer of beer and cheese to worry markets around the world of a significant dip in supply says economist Reba McSorley. “This is a big deal and right now we’re trying to come up with a name for it like Cheese and Beer Depression, but catchier” McSorley said Monday.

In spite of the rise in prices some officials played down the possible effects. “This mostly concerns the poor quality cheeses and beers like you make in America” explains French Minister of Cheese and Beer Mathieu Anisette. “Cheese like this, we feed to prisoners and pigs. What the prisoners and pigs don’t eat we mix with poison to kill the rats. We use your beer to make the glue on our flypaper. We also use it as a spray to keep puppies from chewing on your belongings because the taste nauseates them so, henh?

When asked if France was going to join other nations in boosting their supply of cheese and beer to prevent further price spikes Anisette answered “I don’t know. I also don’t know why you wear such unflattering clothing. You look like an old grandmother, but if I saw you naked I would not have to be drunk to fuck you probably, henh?”


No comments:

Post a Comment