Harry Connick Jr. Named Guest Judge on Supreme Court

It began with a team building weekend at a Bowie, MD Hilton with the eight current Supreme Court Justices. The jurists sat cross-legged in a circle brainstorming ideas to boost morale. Since the death of Justice Antonin Scalia, the Senate has made the unprecedented move of refusing to hold hearings on any replacement named by President Obama. As a result, the court workload has increased.

In Executive Conference Room B, a symbolic gavel was passed to each justice as they pitched their ideas which Roberts wrote down on a whiteboard. Roberts coached that there were no bad ideas and reprimanded when some unpopular suggestions were booed. The gavel had made it around the circle at least once when Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg suggested temporarily filling Scalia’s seat with a celebrity judge.

“The American people love that shit” said the diminutive liberal. “And it’s not like a stupid celebrity can’t do what Nino did, God rest his soul.”

And with that the gavel went around again. This time the goal was to generated a list of potential celebrity judges. A source close to the court who shared the account said that from a list of 20, ranging from rapper T.I. to actor Chuck Norris, the group of eight deliberated for an hour before deciding on singer Harry Connick Jr. whose judicial temperament was publicly witnessed during his tenure as a judge on “American Idol.”

Connick expressed his excitement in a statement issued through his agent. “I am a huge fan of the Supreme Court so I am humbled that they would ask me join them this season.”