As a perfect bookend to a foreign trip that had a rough
start, Barack Obama retuned from Asia on Friday morning only to discover Air
Force One lost his luggage.
“Unfuckingbelievable” muttered the president as he banged on
the door of the White House travel office . “They insisted I had to come in
person to fill out forms. I couldn’t do it online. Now they’re closed for
lunch. I can actually hear people in there” he said with his ear to the door.
In spite of rising approval in his final months, Obama has
recently endured blows to his prestige, from insurers abandoning Obamacare
exchanges to the Asia trip which began with Chinese officials screaming at
members of the American delegation on the tarmac upon arrival. One official who
chose to remain anonymous said that in Laos, the president spent much of his
time in his room at the U.S. embassy in Vientiane.
“The last question he asked after we arrived was ‘do they
get Netflix here?’ Those close enough to the president know that means he
pretty much wants to be left alone for the next three days” said the staffer.
If Obama was expecting his homecoming to be a relief from
the stress of travel, the luggage snafu threw those hopes away
“It’s not just a couple pairs of socks and underwear” said
Obama to whatever traveling press gaggle that still lingered. “I bring all my
favorite suits to choose from. Now I have to wear my fat suits. Then there’s
the stupid gifts. I have to register a ‘I had a ‘Laos-y time in Laos’ t-shirt
given to me from the Laotian president. I should have told him to keep it. I
don’t have time for this shit.”
While waiting for the travel office to open, the president
pulled out his Blackberry and said “What, do they think I don’t have Yelp?” He
paused for a moment and wondered aloud “maybe I should wait until I get my
stuff back.”
No comments:
Post a Comment