Trump Changing Color Later This Year Due to Climate Change

There is no greater sign of autumn than Donald Trump changing colors. Every October, tourists flock to Trump Tower to see the face and hair of the famed conman show off brighter oranges and yellows. According to scientists though, you may want to book your travel later this year if your goal is to see the fooliage at its height. “Trump becomes more vibrant every fall because he begins to produce more of the compound asinine” says Northeastern University anthrobotanist Bird Berdan. “The asinine is triggered by the cooler air. So the longer it stays warm, the later fooliage season starts. This is a direct affect of global warming.” 

Donald Trump disagreed with the science, responding “they say this… look, the Chinese have… many smart people tell me, many smart people, the Chinese are making so much money on global warming and we’re just giving it to them, giving it to them. Give. Me. A break. And Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton are handing over the checks because of their policies. It’s been. A. Disaster. A disaster. Look, people tell me all the time, I just had someone say to me ‘we never know when you’re going to change color. Sometimes you do it January, sometimes you do it in June.’ And they say this whole thing with Putin, the press is so dishonest, so dishonest. Hillary Clinton has lunch with ISIS once a week. And you hear nothing about it. Meanwhile, I gave billions to veterans and they jumped all over me, all over me. Very dishonest. Very dishonest.

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