Even More From the Michele and Sarah-Pedia: History Made Right

THE BATTLE AT LITTLE BIGHORN'S

Captain Custard was sent to the frontier with the cavalry to inform Chief Little Bighorn and his people all about their brand new reservation that was more suitable to their style of living. When Custard arrived at Little Bighorn's wigwam, Indians snuck up and scalped him in the back multiple times which was against Geneva's Conventions. Many tourists still trek to Little Bighorn's wigwam to see where Custard last stood.





THE CHICAGO FIRE        

Chicago, the city with the reputation for backroom deals in in smoky bars, bribery, and blackmail, mismanagement and misappropriation of funds, widespread corruption, mob dominance, welfare queens, miscarriages of justice, embezzlement, vice, poverty, white-collar crime, blue-collar crime, kickbacks, crooked contracts, moral lacks, lax ethics, and LaGuardia Airport, and which also happens to be the hometown of Barack Obama once suffered a large fire. 
BONUS: "Chicago" is an American musical about corruption, murder, deceit, prison, and philandering.

The Michele and Sarah-Pedia: American History Made Right - Guest Contributor

The saga of missed history continues with a twist. This segment began as a Facebook comment from my father, but was too funny not to include here. 

AMERICAN SLAVERY by Michele Bachmann and Sarah Palin as told by Ed Dornell

In the 17th century American venture captialist liberated people from the jungles of Africa and brought them to America to offer them lifetime employment in the agricultural field. After over 200 years of guaranteed employment, northern unionist agitators were able to disrupt this beneficial labor arrangement.

Michele and Sarah-Pedia III

The feedback on the "Michele and Sarah-Pedia" continues to be overwhelming. It is my pleasure to give back with more.

THE BOSTON MASSACRE

When our great land was settled some people chose to be lawyers. Some people chose to be doctors. Others chose to be mass murderers. The Boston Massacre was one of these. The Boston Massacre was the first mass murderer in American history. He got his name because he liked to massacre his victims to death. His great great great grandson was the famous Boston Strangler.

FIRST AMERICAN TEST TUBE BABY 

Before the resonation of the lesson of AIDS, it became a fad among certain women to have unprotected relations with test tubes. Some of these women got pregnant and the result was test tube babies. While science wrongly hailed this as a breakthrough, their excitement did not take into account the lives test tube babies would be subject to. Since marrying test tubes is not legal (yet), test tube babies are generally raised in single-parent homes which tend to be poor, dirty, permissive, and underachieving. Because they are part glass, test tube babies tend to be very brittle and can not play like other children. For this reason they are teased and bullied. While no one should bully other children, interfering with bullies is a violation of the First Amendment. Test tube babies have a higher tendency towards a life of crime.

Bachmann 20Never

It is possible that Michele Bachmann is a lovely person on some level though I have only seen her despicable side so far (see Bachmann-King Overdrive). Bachmann is surrounded by people who have American tax dollars to thank for some of their professional remuneration, and they don’t work for the government. At the same time Bachmann riles up the Tea Party into a froth on how much money the government spends. The problem is not that her husband’s mental health clinic accepts Medicaid patients. That is great if you want a cure for your shame issues and don’t have insurance. I think Bachmann and Associates should accept MORE Medicaid patients. The problem is that Michele Bachmann should just take the checks and STFU. Opening her mouth about government spending makes her a hypocrite when government checks are being deposited into her bank account.

Recently, the lamestream media chorus has been gushing over Bachmann’s meteoric rise. She shined at the debate. She’s shooting up among Iowa Republicans. Her message really resonates with the Tea Party, and on and on. This is all preface to the news montage of her most recent gaffes though. Like Palin, her attempts to justify her gaffes become gaffes themselves. It makes one wonder if Ed Rollins knew what he was getting into when he signed out to run her campaign. To her credit, Bachmann seems capable of learning, unlike Palin. Bachmann has cooled the tribal assaults on Obama. I think that is part of the Rollins effect. The downside of the Rollins effect is that what made Bachmann such a hit at the Tea Party was that her disdain for Obama was so open and unrestrained. Now it’s not Michele Bachman running for president. It’s more like Ed Rollins in a Michele Bachmann suit. Ed Rollins seems like a nice guy but no one is voting for him.